Have you heard the turn of phrase, “I’d really hoped that…”? This week was the first time I ever thought about it, because I found myself thinking it in a way that was much more intentional, serious, and literal than it usually flows off my tongue.
Usually, it means we’re disappointed, mildly. This week, it meant that I have hoped - really, emotionally, actively, persistently hoped. I have prayed, and desired, and doubted, and reinforced my hope by praying again. I have had so much real hope that it could happen that I have checked just about anywhere I could think to check, for news that it had occurred.
And so this week, when I think to myself that “I’d really hoped,” it is because I am so disappointed that it takes my breath away thinking about continuing to hope for these things. I am so disappointed that I almost wish I hadn’t hoped. Can you hope too obsessively?
Hello Lisa. I am a Pastor from Mumbai, India. I did visit your profile on the blogger and the blog post earlier but do not know whether I have commented on any one of your blog post. I am blessed and feel privileged and honoured to get connected with you as well as know you as a child of God to a family of six children and you being the oldest of six children and still single. Your blog post on I'd Really Hoped" is the expression of what I have gone through these days. We have just finished our general elections to elect new Government. I was hoping for sure a change in this government which is anti-christian. The church in India prayed for change and we expected it very much but to our disappointment the same Party came in to power with thumping majority. Like you I am so disppointed that I almost wish I'd Really Hoped. The question you have posed "Can you hope too obsessively? is a right question and the answer would be no. Because God knows what is best for us and He allows it to happen which is against our hope at times. Allowing God's will to be privailed is most important than what you hoped for. Thank you Lisa for your very thoughtful post. I love getting connected with the people of God around the globe to be encouraged, strengthened and praying for one another. I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 40 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with a great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokenhearted. We also encourage young and the adults from the west to come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. We would love to have you come to Mumbai with your other siblings or friends to work with us during your vacation time. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. Looking forward to hear from you very soon. God's richest blessings on you, your family and friends. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede.
ReplyDeleteI remember some previous comments from you! Thanks for sharing your story of hoping for the good thing of a more just, more God-fearing government!
Delete40 years is a long time. I assume you see God granting some of your hopes doing ministry in your city?
To God be all glory,
Lisa of Longbourn